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“ Lately I’ve been experiencing a lot of the dreaded ‘Mother Guilt’ – is there anything you can share about your own experience and some advice to help conquer this daily stress? ”

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Sonia / View Profile

Mother Guilt is kind of like the free steak knives you get when you have a baby. You know, Congratulations you have a healthy baby BUT wait there’s more - along with your bouncing baby and sleepless night, we are going to give you a lifetime subscription to an unlimited supply of Mother’s guilt.

Try as you might, you cannot give that guilt away. You’ll try. Oh trust me you will try, but it has like some special tracking device that means it always finds it way back to you.

The trick is to understand why we feel that guilt. Usually it is because we want to be the best parent to our children that we can possibly be. Straight away that fact should give your Mother’s Guilt a big old slap in the face. Think about it a little more… nearly all of the thing you feel guilty about when it comes to parenting are caused by your desire to do the best you can for your child. That in itself is a good enough reason to cut yourself some slack.

There are a few things I used and still use to try and keep the other’s guilt in check. You might find them
useful to try for yourself.

The Supermum is a mythological creature.
For reals. There is no such thing as a Supermum so quit putting pres Read more

Mother Guilt is kind of like the free steak knives you get when you have a baby. You know, Congratulations you have a healthy baby BUT wait there’s more - along with your bouncing baby and sleepless night, we are going to give you a lifetime subscription to an unlimited supply of Mother’s guilt.

Try as you might, you cannot give that guilt away. You’ll try. Oh trust me you will try, but it has like some special tracking device that means it always finds it way back to you.

The trick is to understand why we feel that guilt. Usually it is because we want to be the best parent to our children that we can possibly be. Straight away that fact should give your Mother’s Guilt a big old slap in the face. Think about it a little more… nearly all of the thing you feel guilty about when it comes to parenting are caused by your desire to do the best you can for your child. That in itself is a good enough reason to cut yourself some slack.

There are a few things I used and still use to try and keep the other’s guilt in check. You might find them
useful to try for yourself.

The Supermum is a mythological creature.
For reals. There is no such thing as a Supermum so quit putting pressure on yourself to be one. Just do the best you can and do everything with love. You are already doing that aren't you? Yes you are!

Acknowledge all the things you do well.
Instead of beating yourself up about the things you don't do or the thing you think you should be doing, why not congratulate yourself on the million and one things you do do. You do a lot more than you give yourself credit for.

Talk about it.
Surround yourself with other mums and talk to each other about the things you feel guilty about. Often just talking about that guilt takes away its power and just knowing that others feel the same way as you makes that guilt feel less scary.

Ask yourself - Is your guilt trying to tell you something?
Sometimes our guilt can act like a little internal alarm system that goes off every now and then, and just like the battery in your fire alarm it needs to be checked. No biggie, just a reminder to make sure everything is in order. I found if I let myself get too caught up in my work or started trying too hard to be the mythological super mum then my guilt alarm would go nuts until I restored some sort of balance.

Do what you can to fix things and move on.
If you stuffed up and made a mistake like I did BIG time here - own it, fix it and then realise that billions of mums before you have made exactly the same mistake and move on.

Laugh
No I mean it, have a good old laugh at yourself every now and then. Just like scissors beat paper and paper beats rock, laughter trumps guilt. It just does.

Finally just remember that you feel guilty because you care and the fact that you care so much is NOTHING to feel guilty about.

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Mums Helping Mums - Contributors

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Sonia

Sonia is a proud Mama of three beautiful boys, a domestic goddess, perfectionist and overall crafty individual. Being a true Gemini, Sonia has the personality for any occasion with all instances expressed in her blog Life Love and Hiccups. The blog is her outlet to share fabulously flawed attempts at being the unstoppable mother and wife. Sonia’s often-hilarious hiccups in life are posted with her audience throughout social platforms, in an attempt to make the audience feel good, relaxed and at home. Sonia shares her crafting adventures, love of cushions, life with boys and other random stuff along the way.
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Sarah / View Profile

Mother Guilt is normal and an evitable part of parenting so you can either embrace it or let it eat you alive. I’m totally fine with experiencing Mother Guilt because it proves that I care about my kids and that I am human and most certainly far from perfect. I’m in my 18th year of parenting and it never goes away – Do I spend enough one on one time with my kids? It’s a gorgeous day outside I really should take her to the park! But she’s watching TV so quietly. I really shouldn’t use the TV as a babysitter. I took her to the park and she fell off the slide and hurt her head.

Seriously?! We just can’t win no matter what we do. 

Don’t fight the Mother Guilt, it’s just there to show you how much you care about your kids, but don’t let it control your life either. Imperfect Mums Rock! When all else fails, just ask yourself ‘What would Madonna do? tone that notion down a little and all of a sudden you’re winning at mothering.

Mother Guilt is normal and an evitable part of parenting so you can either embrace it or let it eat you alive. I’m totally fine with experiencing Mother Guilt because it proves that I care about my kids and that I am human and most certainly far from perfect. I’m in my 18th year of parenting and it never goes away – Do I spend enough one on one time with my kids? It’s a gorgeous day outside I really should take her to the park! But she’s watching TV so quietly. I really shouldn’t use the TV as a babysitter. I took her to the park and she fell off the slide and hurt her head.

Seriously?! We just can’t win no matter what we do. 

Don’t fight the Mother Guilt, it’s just there to show you how much you care about your kids, but don’t let it control your life either. Imperfect Mums Rock! When all else fails, just ask yourself ‘What would Madonna do? tone that notion down a little and all of a sudden you’re winning at mothering.

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Mums Helping Mums - Contributors

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Sarah

Sarah is a passionate, fit, family-orientated, loving Mum of four kids and a ‘hippy’ husband. She is on the journey to move more, eat better and live a life well loved! As a Registered Midwife and Nurse, when it comes to writing about health matters Sarah gracefully separates fact from fiction while combining personal experience with university qualifications. Sarah sets the standards high with her understanding of nutrition with the additional help from her sidekick Hubby, Brad. Move Fuel Love showcases Sarah's passion for fitness, family and zest for life.
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Kelly / View Profile

I believe guilt is something mothers often experience because we care so much and want to do the best we can for our children. The thing is, it’s important not to be fearful of making mistakes in parenting. I don’t think trying so very hard to avoid mistakes is what makes parenting successful and fulfilling. It’s connection, and I always, always come back to this when I doubt. Always come back to connection. When I do experience guilt, I take the time to analyse it, and if it is in any way valid, there’s an opportunity to grow (just like I would in any other situation). If it’s ungrounded, I make a choice to dismiss it.

I’ve been a parent for 14 years now, and believe me, I’ve made many, many, many mistakes. I’ve been away from my kids for weeks at a time and especially find it hard to leave them. I’ve reacted in ways I regret and haven’t always been the example I hoped to emulate. All these things are true, but to this day, after all this time, I would say to mums before me to be fearless in your love and life. Confront the guilt, learn from it or put it in its place and keep connection and love in the center.

I believe guilt is something mothers often experience because we care so much and want to do the best we can for our children. The thing is, it’s important not to be fearful of making mistakes in parenting. I don’t think trying so very hard to avoid mistakes is what makes parenting successful and fulfilling. It’s connection, and I always, always come back to this when I doubt. Always come back to connection. When I do experience guilt, I take the time to analyse it, and if it is in any way valid, there’s an opportunity to grow (just like I would in any other situation). If it’s ungrounded, I make a choice to dismiss it.

I’ve been a parent for 14 years now, and believe me, I’ve made many, many, many mistakes. I’ve been away from my kids for weeks at a time and especially find it hard to leave them. I’ve reacted in ways I regret and haven’t always been the example I hoped to emulate. All these things are true, but to this day, after all this time, I would say to mums before me to be fearless in your love and life. Confront the guilt, learn from it or put it in its place and keep connection and love in the center.

Less

Mums Helping Mums - Contributors

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Kelly

Kelly is an inspiration for all Mums who see the joy in life and motherhood in a fast-paced world. She loves every moment in life from little to big, is inspired by all and creates beautiful masterpieces along the way. Kelly believes in creating a happy childhood for her children, it’s like gifting them little memory anchors that can be drawn throughout their entire life. Be a Fun Mum is Kelly's blog where she showcases insight into being the absolute best mum she can be.